Why there’s no Super Being

I was watching one of TV’s intellectually stimulating reality shows when the Millionaire Matchmaker finally asked a client if he would marry an atheist. And the client (a professional volleyball player) said no, because he was very spiritual – although he doesn’t like organized religion.

And immediately I start thinking through the proposition that an atheist might still be spiritual. But maybe that’s more for the agnostics. And while I was thinking about that – bear with me here! – I considered whether atheism might apply to disbelief in a Super Being type deity but leave open the possibility or embrace belief in other supernatural forces.

And that made me think about what it would feel like to be a Super Being. And specifically to be a solitary Super Being. And that felt like a huge drag. I mean, it would be great for a few minutes – sure! But then, just in the few seconds between creating St. Barts in February so you can lie on a blue-and-white striped chaise lounge at a beautiful Michelin rated beachside restaurant / cocktail bar and the onset of the instinct to call your friends stuck back in Chicago freezing their ‘nads off – you slap your head and shout “Damn, right, I’m all-the-fuck alone here!” And that would suck because even though you created a bunch of people who look (sort of) like yourself all they want to do is either worship you or kill each other. And frankly, as a Super Being, that’s just boring.

And you can’t even turn on a comedy show on TV! I mean, f*ck – when you’re a Super Being, no punch-line is going to have that surprise ooomph that makes you snort the champers out your nose. No way! I mean, you’re gonna see that punch line coming a mile away.

Same for suspense movies. I mean – Geez! (no pun intended) – like you had “Memento” nailed at the opening credits.

Well, that’s as far as I got thinking about it. It got depressing to imagine what it would be like to be the Universe’s only Deity. It would be hell.


2 thoughts on “Why there’s no Super Being

  1. I could do another riff on the concept of eternal life in heaven…ever thought about that? As I kid it always seemed like heaven was going to be a lot like being in church all the time. Hmmm….

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