True fables of our time

Prayer crosses for sale at Walmart

I’m writing a fable. Well, I have as story in my head that may come out as a fable – I’m toying with it. The story kernel I have is that one day in the not too distant future, the world wakes up to find it has happened! The Rapture.

Come on, you’ve heard of it. At least from Tim LaHaye’s bestselling Left Behind novels and now his appearance on talk shows saying that President Obama’s socialist policies move us closer to Apocalypse. And that’s if you didn’t get lectured about it as a child getting brainwashed in Sunday school.

Of course, that story’s been written. But here’s the catch – it turns out there’s been a slight miscommunication. Whoever received the visions that inspired the Book of Revelations missed an important detail. It’s not about the Christians.

In my Rapture, the world wakes up one morning to gradually discover that China, and much of Southeast Asia, are virtually empty of people. Empty of honest, hardworking Buddhists. Ahem. Ahem. And my working title is The Day Walmart Died.

And having that in my head makes me see everything in that context. Weird, I know. But I’m going with it since news these days is a perfect fit for the genre. As they say, truth is stranger than fiction.

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Fine films I’ve never seen

In the continuing effort to catch up and watch films that make people gasp and say “You’ve never seen _____?!” when I tell them I haven’t, I watched “The Graduate” last night. Yes, the famous film with Dustin Hoffman and Anne Bancroft that is so iconic that, even though I had never watched it, I felt a sense of deja vue with most of the scenes and a lot of the dialogue.

“Do you want me to seduce you?”

Morning Java

The scene here at Jumpin’ Java: 9am Sunday morning. To my right, two gay guys having a deep conversation – one a muscly shaved head bruiser and the other younger, with a black mohawk in a motorcycle jacket. At the counter in front, a girl ordering wearing a hoody pulled up over her head, with a ballerina tutu poking out at the waist, over gray tights. To my left, an out-of-water hipster in a look that may become the new skinny jeans: a black trench coat and stovepipe hat.

Meanwhile, more people park their dogs outside while they pop in to get a coffee for the stroll. (The weekend commuters).

Up Your Alley

2010 Official Poster

It’s deep winter here in Queeristan – and you know what holiday that brings! Yes, it’s the Dore Alley Street Fair. Or, as the party producers would have us refer to it – “Up Your Alley.” Originally a little local thang that was preferred by some to the much bigger Folsom Street Fair, Dore Alley took on a life of its own and now occupies not only a far greater number of blocks than just Dore Alley between Howard and Folsom (the original fair) – it occupies a much bigger mindshare for tourists and promoters alike.

It was just four years ago that I heard of a special circuit party event being produced for Dore Alley – the appropriately named “Bay of Pigs.” Now quite a few promoters are throwing them parties all weekend and even during the week before.

And what your intrepid blogger doing this weekend? Well, let’s start by reporting that after a two-week exercise hiatus, the combination of Body-Pump squats and deadlifts yesterday with this morning’s Les Leventhal Yoga class has me not wanting to do a lot of walking right now!

That said, I will be at the street fair tomorrow. You know – just to check out the scene!

Steve Cruz calling Naked Twister for a fundraiser at previous Dore Alley

Zucchini monster must die! Or, the earthbox(TM) update

Okay, the earthbox(TM) experiment has been so successful that I am sick to death of zucchini already. The one plant (a Sicialian creamy white heirloom variety) has produced good-sized zucchini every day. I put the zuke in with two cherry tomator varieties because I thought (with justification) that tomatoes are a rather unfair test in San Francisco.

In fact, the tomatoes have done quite well, and the Sungold bush is large, healthy and loaded with little green globes. The other variety was pretty much overtaken by both the sungold bush and the zucchini.

So, this afternoon I took advantage of the sudden sunbreak to cut out the zucchini so the tomatoes can thrive by themselves. I’m not worried about the earthbox(TM) producing more sungolds than I can eat.

By the way, the two DIY earthboxes I built are doing well also. One holds a eureka lemon that it looking mighty healthy with lots of growth and good looking fruit. The other holds a basil and a parsley. The parlsey is now quite large and productive. Parsley seems to hold up well in the cool windy seaside weather we have in summer. The basil is alive and has grown quite a bit but clearly is suffering a bit of frostbite. The leaves are stunted compared to what I would buy in the market. On the other hand, the leaves are powerfully fragrant.

I think it would like a warmer spot. Baby, hold on – til September at least!

My dead phone

Google killed my phone last week. The Nexus One has been dropped.

Not exactly a stellar seller in the vein of the iPhone or even the Droids, Google tried to market it without any marketing – and proved that plan is a non-starter.

You may recall I like the phone – but not as a phone. The call quality sucks. It’s all the other features that are extremely cool and additive – such as the fact that I am blogging this from my Macbook Pro using my “Googlephone” as a portable WiFi hotspot.

I’m visiting my father, and he doesn’t even subscribe to a dial-up ISP. I do, miraculously, get a strong 3G signal here from T-Mobile (the only spot I have on this entire trip to Delaware and Connecticut). And the recent Android 2.2 “Froyo” upgrade provides a simple means to turn the phone into a WiFi provider. No extra router, no cables – just voila!

Still, I’m looking at Verizon and a Motorola Droid X in my future…